Gum. It leaves black crud-marks all over everything, sticks to your shoes and stays in your stomach until after your body decomposes so that all your relatives have to remember you by is a gum remnant. So I'm glad this town tried to confront its gum problem. It acknowledged that its people liked to chew on gum. Fine. They recognized that problem with gum is whenever it leaves the mouth, whether getting itself spit onto the ground (and onto your shoes or hair if you're rubbing your hair on the ground) or into ones stomach. Ok, agreed.
But the people in this town want it both ways. We've made gum a public utility, outlawing its purchase in stores. Every street is now equipped with a "Gum Line," which is a moving towrope with "gum nodes" placed every couple feet. Any time a citizen wants to chew, he or she hops onto the gum line and chews a nubbin of gum attached to the tether. They couldn't spit it onto the ground or swallow it into their stomachs because it was attached. Sound like a good idea? It's not.
Someone has to clean that gum line and clean every gum node on it and replace the gum that's lost its flavor. They also had to make sure everyone was being safe on the gum line, hand out gum maps and generally help people navigate the gum line, like if they needed to make a transfer. These attendants aren't allowed to use the gum line obviously, because they're maintaining it around the clock, so they're naturally allowed to chew their own freestanding gum. So that gets everywhere.
It turns out most people in town are employed in the gum department.
This town is crumbling.
What a dumb town!
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