Obituary for Mrs. Tamitha Aerdale

At 2:36 last night, Mrs. Tamitha Aerdale, age 62, was admitted to the sand-poetry and chemotherapy wing of Fecund Gulch’s Montessori Hospital where she was diagnosed with “skeleton fell out” by a vagrant wandering near an open window. The vagrant went on to diagnose Tamitha with several other conditions, including “ President Nixon up to his neck in discharge” and “Elvis ain’t shit to me, even if he is my TV,” but as these were non life-threatening conditions, they were written in crayon on a Cracker Barrel napkin and trampled. Since no doctors were on call, or consider the building a hospital, treatment was given by one of the first-year student interns, Kevin Racewar, who inserted three new skeletons into Mrs. Aerdale’s prone frame per the vagrant’s diagnosis. Tamitha, unfortunately did not survive the routine procedure, but the heroic young doctor-to-be received a passing grade of “the letter B with googly eyes and a plus sign next to it” (roughly equivalent to a B+). Mrs. Aerdale was survived by her husband and daughter who had this to say of her generous spirit and unwavering commitment to community: “No, this is two three seven Chet’s Ranch Drive, two four seven is down the street.” Let us all aspire to be worthy of that kind of praise.

Sent from my iPhone