Jarot caught Lazing

Noted diligent Fecund Gulcher Jarot Hendridge was said to be caught in a moment of idleness Tuesday afternoon. An unattractive family rounded a corner to find him sitting down and looking at the Town World Tempo section. When he took stock of the situation, Jarot hastily yelled his motto, "Jarot don't laze!" Apparently, there's more to the story.

Day 1 Highlights from Fecund Gulch Literary Expo and Adult DVD Convention

Fecund Gulch Convention Center played host to that august tradition - the annual meeting of minds and regional literati.

Ted Bulger, native of Beyond-the-Rendering-Plant, debuted his semi-autobiographical monster novel entitled The Evolution of Death. Critics, publishers and agents were abuzz.

An excerpt:

My dog ran away in during a hail storm and I thought about the shriveled wretch who took over my job setting table widths for at the prison newsletter - unsung and unhinged in time immemorial. Like a boat on a stream of consciousness or train of thought.

Then I saunted over to my expensive armoir. I read Proust into the wee hours. When I caught a glimpse of my shattered reflection in the mirror, I yelled poetically: "What tangled 'webs' we weave." Some forgotten bitch nodded solemnly and sped off into the undulating wastes.

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Here's a sampling of the feedback Bulger is getting at the conference:

"Very gritty and well-paced." - Arlen Chris, Fecund Gulch Street Beat

"Dean Koontz in sheep's clothing takes on the literati with the aplomb of a much gayer man." - Deckland James, Sub Genius

"Tad Balber's new master(bation)piece is like the bastard lovechild of Yugeoh, weapon X and a book on tape that someone wrote the word 'fuck' on." - Smith Matt, Accident Pamphlets Universal, a division of Hyperion

In other news, Sexual Encounters at the End of the Sexworld is a fantastic porno!